Pretty oxymoron to me. In one sentence the deceased points the finger at her husband for possibly murdering her, in another sentence she talks about not ever comitting suicide, which her husband claims she did.Why would she even have thoughts of denial regarding killing herself when it was a matter of telling her family that her husband was going to murder her? I mean, she had no idea that he actually would and he had no idea about suicide until she actually died.

I hope this is not another media trial which usually finds the husband guilty without facts.

I hate to say it, but her letter sounds a lot like the ramblings that I get dealing with mental health patients. She sounds unstable and much of her letter really makes no sense. Which is not to say he isn’t guilty, but I don’t see her letter as proof of anything other than she had some emotional issues.

I have dealt with a sexual psychopath my whole life, since I was a small child. We had a great life for a decade, and everyone around us thought we were a great couple. When I decided to leave him, I watched him change from a frightening man whose actions I could usually predict to a frightening man whose actions I could not predict. When things deteriorate in a marriage where one person is a psychopath, your fear overtakes you. I started fearing for my life and I always told my mother to make darn sure she went to the police if I suddenly came up dead. I swore to her no matter how depressed I got, I would never take my own life because I adore my children. But what you are missing is how insidious and nasty a psychopath can be, and how they can tear a person down to the point of destroying their self-esteem and causing great depression. Depression is anger one feels they can do nothing about. When I decided to do something about my depression was when the marriage counselor explained my ex-husband did not care about me as a person but only for what I could give him, or do for him. That’s common. There was a second experiment Pavlov performed: he put dogs in a room and gave them food if they rang a bell, then gave them an electric shock if they rang a different bell, then put the two bells together and gave the dogs both the food and the electric shock at the same time when they rang the unified “bell”. Living with a psychopath is much like that. They tell you they love you and everyone around you believes they love you, but they can cut your throat in 2.5 seconds if you ‘disappoint’ them or become useless to them. They are charming as heck and yet they have no conscience but what they learn to emulate based on what society tells them is wrong. God help the woman (or man) who upsets a psychopath. I think society has aided psychopaths in general, and evidence suggests there is a new breed of them walking around right now. They have learned just enough to avoid detection and, according to recent studies, therapy only gives them the tools to emulate a normal person and escape prosecution for the crimes they commit. My ex-husband stole loads of money via credit cards from his employer, but the people I spoke to about it later said they would never prosecute because he was in upper management (making about 150k annually) and it would cost more to pursue it than to “lay him off” and it would make the company look very bad if it came out in the news. You say you hope this is not another media trial in which the husband is found guilty without facts: I say you are either also lacking a conscience or just uneducated. Our justice system is not perfect and some criminals go free while some innocent people are jailed. However, I don’t think there’s any evidence to support your inferences of men all over the country being unjustly persecuted. (That’s PERSECUTED not PROSECUTED.) Sexual Psychopaths are not fully understood yet, but they are definitely created by a damaged relationship with their mothers. There are no female Sexual Serial Killers for a reason: women don’t get oedipal complexes and go psycho. And most of us have a conscience and care about other people and their feelings, unlike a man who can find his wife dead and then just toddle off and marry his mistress before the body is cold.

I cannot see this woman killing hersef in order to spite her husband and his MISTRESS, whom he later married. Her children were the most important people in her life, and I can’t imagine that in order to get even with her husband, she would leave the children without a mother. There are plenty of way’s to get even with a cheating husband without killing yourself in order for him to go to jail. If she was being slowly poisoned over a period of time, I am sure her note could have sounded a little strange, but her point being, if she were found dead that anyone who knew her, knew that she would NOT commit suicide. Hubby spent on time in mourning the wonderful wife and mother, but moved on to the MISTRESS to live happily ever after. I hope he spends the rest of his life in jail, and I hope that Julie’s family get custody of her children. It makes me sick to think that the MISTRESS is raising her children.

Dear Anne (as posted above), I am very sorry for your obviously terrifying experience, however, I have had exactly the opposite experience and you are profoundly wrong in calling anyone ‘uneducated or lacking a conscience’ if they don’t agree with you! You are the one who is uneducated if you actually believe these kinds of actions are a “one way street”! I am a 40 year old, highly educated, middle class, normal, stable woman with two very small children and a wonderful husband of almost 20 years. I have, however, several experiences to share with you that illustrate most phychosis on the part of MANY MORE of the woman I have known in my life than men. Unfortunately, as I am not one to bash my own sex, I have know FAR more **psychopathic** women than men in my life.

I do not know what the truth is beneath all of this, but the *tone*, some of the language in her letter sounded a little too *dramatic* for me. It made me VERY uncomfortable. ….”I fear for my early demise”. I’ll tell you what….if I had two children that young and I thought my husband was trying to kill me…enough to actually write a letter and tell a neighbor??? THIS WAS HER LIFE! THIS WAS HER CHILDREN’S FUTURE! YOU DON’T PLAY TEENAGE DRAMA “I’m leaving a note with the neighbor” GAMES WITH SOMETHING LIKE THAT - YOU GO STRAIGHT TO THE POLICE!!!!!

I have known DOZENS of women who got pregnant *on purpose* to trap men who did not want to marry them into marriage and MANY of them who threatened suicide if the man ever left. I knew one woman recently who wanted a remodeled kitchen so much that when her husband left for a business trip, she literally took a sledgehammer to her entire kitchen, destroying the entire room, down to bursting all of the faucets and creating ENOROMOUS damage. I was HORRIFIED. Her response….”Well, that will teach him to tell me we can’t afford it ever again!” By the way….her husband was a LOVELY man and they COULDN’T afford it!

Another VERY close friend was married to a woman who stood by the door to his home office each day with a knife, threatening to take her own life and stab herself right in front of him, telling him when the police found her that he would be to blame and end up in jail! He said the anxiety of listening to her every day was making him want to beg her to just DO IT and get it over with already. He begged her to seek help because he loved her, but she inststed regularly that she would kill herself and frame it to appear that he did it. He was TERRIFIED and eventually left her.

But, the most intimate experience has been with my Mother in Law. I do not say any of this to disparage her, because she is ill. However, she tortured my Father in Law for 20 years. She is the most mentally unstable human being I have ever known in my life. It would take a book to tell you of all the horrific things she has done in her life. To the average person, she is seemingly *normal*, which to me is the scariest part. She spent my husbands entire childhood and life threatening to commit suicide whenever she wasn’t getting her way. This is a WONDERFULLY EFFECTIVE way to CONTROL the people you love! On the surface she goes on and on about what a devoted mother she has always been. Nothing could be farther from the truth. My husband has close friends in the medical profession who have known her since childhood and tell us that she is classic “psychotic”. She has emotionally and psychologically held this family hostage all of her life. She is manic-depressive and is obsessed with herself, she always has to be the *center* of attention, even if it is the most negative kind of attention. The things she’s done to get everyone looking her way would make you gasp. She is INCREDIBLY SPITEFUL. I would NEVER have put it past her to take her own life just to inflict revenge or pain on my Father in Law. Leaving her children behind?? Just a small price to pay to get back at someone. My Father in Law is a quiet man. He never remarried, and just wants peace. Once, about 10 years ago when he was working and had a “crew”, my Mother in Law was moving to a new house. He sent his entire crew over to her house with trucks to move all of her things to her new home for her. She is pathologically frugal, and so she was *THRILLED* and accepted this without question. The following day, she called everyone in the family telling them she was going to REPORT HIM to his supervisors, get him fired and have him lose his pension for having done this for her.

You are right that women might not have the phsyical *power* to absue a man in the same way that men tend to abuse women, but do NOT delude yourself. These kind of mental and emotional games are many women’s way of keeping control over the men in their lives.