Here’s an inspiring story by Terri Maddox writing in the Belleville News-Democrat about a troubled young teen who turned her life around by changing her focus from herself to taking care of her Dad who was dying of cancer.


When Autumn Hayes gets angry or depressed, she thinks about her father’s dying wish.

Keith Hayes wanted her to be happy and healthy and to stop cutting herself.

“Every time I think about it, I hear his voice coming out of nowhere,” said Autumn, 14, of Lenzburg. “He brings up the promise that I made that I wouldn’t cut anymore.”

“Teen cutting” is a form of self-mutilation that has received growing attention in the past decade as a public-health concern.

Teens cut their arms or legs with sharp objects such as razor blades or broken glass, not to commit suicide but to cope with depression, fear, stress, frustration, anger or loneliness. Many try to conceal scarring with pants and long-sleeved shirts.

“It’s pretty common among young people,” said Denise Sauerwein, a social worker with Hospice of Southern Illinois in Belleville. “It’s not our area of expertise, but we run across it.”

Sauerwein met Autumn last summer, when she helped the Hayes family deal with Keith’s terminal cancer. He died in August.

Sauerwein was impressed to see Autumn overcome her own problems and become a loving, dedicated caretaker for her father.

“Autumn did an excellent job, Sauerwein said. “When (Keith) was nauseous, she knew what to do. When he was restless, she knew what to do. When he was in pain, she knew what to do.”

Today, Autumn wants to become a hospice nurse. She’s sharing her story to help other teens learn the dangers of cutting and find better ways to cope with life’s challenges.

“It was pretty stupid now that I think about it,” said Autumn, who has faint scarring but hasn’t cut herself in nearly a year.


Teen pressures

Autumn is a ninth-grader at Marissa High School. She has a brother, Jeremiah, 17. Her mother, Jami, 38, works at a Subway sandwich shop.

Autumn attended Freeburg schools through sixth grade before her family moved to Lenzburg, where they rented a small, frame home. She had to switch schools and make new friends. It was a difficult change.

In eighth grade, Autumn began cutting her arms and legs with broken glass until they bled.

“It was just to relieve stress and cope with things without having to talk about them,” she said. “… I think in small towns, (pressures are) worse because you can’t talk to people without them judging you. They think everything you do is stupid.”

School employees learned about Autumn’s behavior before her parents did. They alerted mental-health officials, who forced her to undergo a week of residential treatment last October.

“I’m like, ‘What are you doing?’” her mother said. “She went from going to school every day, everything normal, to her being at this hospital in St. Charles (Mo.), and we couldn’t get her out.”

At the treatment center, Autumn learned other ways of coping with stress. She began keeping a journal and listening to music by rock bands such as Linkin Park and Panic! at the Disco instead of cutting.Jami and Keith learned more about teen mutiliation by doing Internet research.

“I think a lot of it is, the popular kids do it, so the other kids do it,” Jami said.

Father’s illness

Keith was a concrete worker who went by the nickname “Kedo.” He seemed fine until January, when his wife took him to the emergency room with groin swelling and pain.

Keith underwent a battery of tests, leading doctors to determine prostate cancer had spread to his liver, bones and lymph nodes. By June, he was in hospice.

Autumn hated watching her father get weak and lose weight, but she stayed by his side while her mother was away at work.

“I made sure he took his pills and had stuff to eat and did whatever else he needed to do,” Autumn said. “… The hardest part was seeing his face change and his body change and, when he was upset, trying to talk to him and see what was wrong and make him happier.”

Money was one of Keith’s worries, but he desperately wanted to take the family on a Florida vacation before he died. Sauerwein found a condominium owner willing to donate a five-day stay beginning Aug. 11.

Keith didn’t make it. He died Aug. 2 at age 42. His family carried his body out of the house as a last sign of love and respect.

“With his symptoms, most people would have died long before he did,” Sauerwein said. “He was really trying hard to live for that trip with his family.”

Jami wasn’t in the vacationing mood, but she kept her promise to Keith she would take the kids to Florida without him.

Today, the Hayeses meet monthly with Stefanie Hansberry, bereavement counselor for Hospice of Southern Illinois. She has taken a special interest in Autumn because of her past challenges.


“Writing has become a very important form of expression for her,” Hansberry said. “There’s no judgment of what you put on paper.”

In her free time, Autumn likes to hang out with friends and read horror books. She’s halfway through an account of Nazi violence against Jews during World War II.

Autumn hopes to get involved in support groups and help other teens who are grieving or cutting or both. Hansberry thinks it could be mutually beneficial.

“Often times, when you’re in a stressful situation, you feel very alone and isolated,” she said. “By putting people in touch with others who are having similar experiences, it just creates an atmosphere that promotes healing. They can share ideas and ways of coping.”

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